Monday, February 17, 2014

A Letter to my Birthmother- Day 7 of 30


Dear birth mother,

                Hello from Indiana in America! I pray that you are doing well.

 I wish that I could address you with a proper name, but I’m sure you wouldn’t know how to address me either… other than, your birth daughter.  Is that what you remember me as? Or is that too much of a painful recognition?

I’m sorry, I’m jumping in too fast. I have so many questions…

The reason I am writing you is because I simply want to say one word:

Thank you.

Behind that word, are so many reasons on why I am thankful for you and your actions. No, we will never meet, and we will never know each other as a mother and daughter do. But because of your decision to abandon me, I have been given an incredible life with a wonderful family and immeasurable friends.

I don’t know one thing about you, except that you gave birth to me, and that you knew that you could never give me a life that I deserve.

And that’s all I need to know. Your action in carrying me for 9 months in the womb, and then proceeding to lay me down in a public place, in secrecy to give me a life tells me that you are a selfless, caring woman. I can’t imagine the pain and despair that you had to go through in finding out that you were pregnant with me, but that you couldn’t keep me. That had to be so incredibly hard.

There is not a week that goes by, that I am thankful for you. I think about if I have any other birth siblings in China somewhere, and I think about what you and the rest of my birth family looks like. Do I look more like you, or my birth father?

I wish that you could meet my brilliant mother, sister and grandparents. I love them more than anything in the world, and I know that you would too.

My mom describes me as smiley, silly, stubborn, loyal, loving, slow moving, creative and giggly… does that sound familiar?

I love you, and I pray for you and your family’s safety every day.

You are special, you are loved and you are worthy.

Love,

Marisa

Xo

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